Too often we are scared, scared of what we might not be able to do, scared of what people might think if we tried, we let our fears stand in the way of our hopes. Why? There's really no time to be afraid. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Everything!” ~ unknown
It seems that every day I cry more and more. I cry myself to sleep at night and I wake up in tears. I cry at work and when I'm driving. Sometimes I even have to pull off the road I cry so hard. Is it the holidays that make it seem so much worse? Or am I just totally losing it all together? There are only 2 days left of this year and I'll be spending them alone. I can't stand the thought of spending them with someone else and trying to act like everything is ok. It's not OK!!!!!! I know it will be someday but today it's not ok.
Love & being loved to the depth of your spirit is what
gives meaning & purpose to life. When you have loved to
the full extent of your heart’s core, reach further &
find that you can love even more. This is the secret
of happiness. This is the way of the spirit. ~ Ham Seok-heon
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure...that you really are strong, and you really do have worth." ~ Unknown
Today I picked up a kitchen table and chairs for my new place. Still not moving for a few months and don't know where to yet either. But the set was listed on "Freecycle" and is a really nice Farm table style set. I may strip it and re-stain the table top and chairs... still thinking on that one. Guess I'll decide when I find out where I'm moving to.
Things are moving forward. The divorce should be final in 6 to 8 weeks. Still have meltdowns but also starting to look forward to starting a new life.
"The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being." ~ Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
Hugging is practically perfect: There are no movable parts, no batteries to wear out, no periodic check ups, low energy consumption, high energy yield, inflation proof, non-fattening, no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, theft proof, non-taxable, non-polluting and of course, fully returnable. ~ Unknown